Balance
As a new mom to be, I had a lot of preconceived ideas about the type of parent I would be (namely, perfect). Suffice to say, I am a long way off those expectations, and the journey through motherhood has been very different to what I anticipated.
Initially, being a new mom was a roller coaster with very highs and relatively low lows (caused chiefly by sleep deprivation in those early days). But along the way, I have managed to find some semblance of balance.
My goal has not been perfection but love, consistency, compassion and patience. These have become the attributes I work to cultivate.
Nothing can prepare you for the tumultuous ride of motherhood, but I am here to offer encouragement, support and mommy tips and tricks that have seen me through.
Consider this your new mom to be survival kit!
General Information
It can be very daunting, this baby business. If you have just found out you are pregnant, you have probably started doing some research. However, one of the reasons pregnancy is so scary is there is so much conflicting information.
This information comes from various sources, including friends, family, other moms, midwives, books, websites and social media. It seems like everyone has advice for the new mom to be!
But there’s a reason there’s no instruction book for giving birth or being a parent. I can speak from experience when I tell you that everything I read in books and had planned for when my babies came along flew out the window in the face of reality.
It’s not that I wouldn’t read as much as possible if I had my time again; I would. Preparing to be a new mom is reassuring. But if I had my time over, I would take it all with a pinch of salt and trust my instincts more.
Oh, and by the way, we have a collection of over fifty ideas if you have not yet announced your pregnancy.
Classes
To learn as much as possible about the birth, labour and first few months with your baby, I recommend signing up for a class at your local hospital. Your doctor should be able to refer you.
As a new mom to be who had never experienced childbirth before, I found the classes helpful in knowing the different pain relief available, along with the pros and cons of each. Having this knowledge meant that I could make an informed decision when the time came.
I also found it beneficial to break down the labour process, including time frames for contractions and pain. I received breastfeeding tips, support, and referrals to additional resources. I also learned what to expect from the hospital.
Other things the classes cover include holding, dressing, feeding, swaddling, burping, and bathing your baby. If you can’t get to classes, try googling new mom to be tips.
I would also recommend researching breathing exercises for labour on YouTube.
Paediatrician
Now is the time to consider who your baby’s paediatrician will be. As paediatricians look after babies, infants, and adolescents, your relationship could be a long one. It’s for this reason you want to make the right decision. If you have the opportunity, ask around and get a referral from someone.
You will see your paediatrician several times in the first six months, so their location should be convenient for you. The best recommendation for choosing a paediatrician is to make sure they feel right.
When you meet your potential paediatrician, think about whether you feel rushed or heard. Consider whether the waiting room is clean and caters to young children. Also, note whether the paediatrician explains things clearly and with empathy.
Preparing for Baby
Preparing for your new baby is one of the most exciting things about being a new mom!
Your baby will not require a lot of space in the first few months. When thinking about where your baby will sleep, you should find somewhere dark. You may also like to consider where you will put your baby supplies such as clothes, diapers, spare bed linen, etc.
If you plan on breastfeeding, you will require a comfortable chair with good back support. Ideally, you want to have a small table beside you for your supplies such as water, phone, snacks, burping cloths, etc.
When establishing breastfeeding, you might be sitting in the same place for an hour or more. Having to get up is disruptive to your baby and annoying for you.
It’s also a good idea to invest in a breastfeeding pillow, as this will put you in the correct position, making it easier for your baby to latch.
Be prepared to bring your baby home with you once you are around thirty-two weeks into your pregnancy. Anything can happen, and being ready will bring you peace of mind.
Babies need to be transported correctly in their first few months, so their neck muscles, spine and reflexes allow them to breathe correctly. Some prams have a detachable piece that fits straight into your car.
I hired capsules for the first few months then transferred my babies to their rear-facing car seats when they reached the correct weight. Note: Ensure you read the instructions for proper installation of car seats, cradles or capsules and check you are using the recommended product for your baby’s age and weight.
The baby market is big business, and although it’s very easy to get carried away, especially if you are a first-time new mom, babies don’t need a lot. They require clothing, nappies, wipes, milk, somewhere to sleep and transportation.
So here is a checklist of essentials for you and your new baby.
New Mom to be Checklist of Essentials
- Baby car seat
- Pram, buggy or stroller
- Bassinet, crib, cot or cradle with mattress
- Bedding – I used a mattress protector and fitted sheet only. I had one spare set. You can also use a pillowcase as a crib sheet
- Four baby wraps or muslins
- Baby sleeping bag (can only be used from 10 lbs)
- Baby soap
- Soft towels and washcloths or flannels
- Baby friendly washing detergent
- Nappies or diapers – minimum of four packets and diaper bags for the used ones
- Unperfumed baby wipes. Or cotton wool if you plan to use these with water
- Nappy rash cream
- Baby nail scissors
- Thermometer
- Dummy or pacifier if you are planning to use them
- You may also require breastfeeding bras or tops
- And nipple cream if you are breastfeeding
Clothes
It’s natural to get excited about buying baby clothes; however, you will be given a lot, and if your baby is big, they will skip the first few sizes. If your baby is small, they are often only in the smallest size for three months.
My recommendation is to stick to a bare minimum until your baby is born and you know their size and what you have been given.
Recommendations
- If your baby is a winter baby, 8 all in one suits. Buy the long-sleeved ones with feet (as socks constantly fall off or get lost).
- If your baby is a summer baby buy the short sleeve or singlet/vest/bodysuit style with poppers underneath. Your baby can wear these by themselves in summer or under the long sleeve one in winter. If you don’t get the ones with poppers underneath the singlet will ride up their backs.
- Depending on the time of year, one or two zip up jumpers or cardigans. Babies don’t like things that go over their heads and jumpers are a bit fiddly.
- Either cotton or a warm cosy hat, depending on whether your baby is a summer or winter baby.
- If you have a winter baby, you will need a coat or a warm all in one suit.
Other than that, a few things will make your life easier.
New Mom to Be – Optional Items
- A baby monitor
- A nappy bag or diaper bag (can be any large bag really)
- A baby sling
- A baby bouncer or swing – I got a swing and could not have survived without it
- Baby bath or bath support
- Portable wipeable changing mat
- Car window shade
Babies can be expensive, so my recommendation when making purchases is less is more.
One thing to remember is everything that will come in contact with your baby’s skin will need to be clean and freshly washed in preparation for your baby’s arrival. The washing detergent you choose should be gentle so it doesn’t upset their delicate skin. Avoid fabric softener or dryer sheets as these can irritate.
Pack your hospital bag early and be ready to go. You can visit our comprehensive hospital packing list for all the essentials and optional extras for mom, dad and baby.
Involving Your Partner
Be sure to involve your partner in as many baby preparation plans as possible. It’s an exciting time for both of you – and all the focus should not just be on the new mom.
If possible, get your partner to accompany you to doctor’s appointments and provide input on purchasing decisions. Shopping together for your new baby can increase your excitement and is a great bonding activity.
If you ask most moms for advice on surviving becoming a new mom, the answer will inevitably be support. Bringing a baby into your life is a massive change for your relationship, and it will take time for you both to navigate your new roles in the family.
In those early years, lack of sleep increased stress, plus chaos and unpredictability can take their toll. Communication, listening to each other respectfully and working together as a team will ensure you successfully manage this new dynamic.
And for mom, let your partner parent your baby their way. It doesn’t have to be the same way you would do it.
Your baby will thrive in a contented and happy environment, so keep the lines of communication open. Share your thoughts and ideas on how you would like to raise your baby. If you don’t agree on something, find a way to compromise.
Some other topics you may like to discuss with your partner include family values, budgeting, and the division of housework and parenting duties.
Trust Yourself
As you prepare for your new baby’s arrival, you can do some research via books and websites, so you are armed with all the necessary information to navigate your new world successfully. Once you have done your research, try to take your queues from your baby.
It’s okay to have a plan but be prepared to change once you meet your baby and establish your routine. You can read about what worked well for other new moms in our mom to be tips.
There’s lots of conflicting advice because every baby is different, just as every family is different. Trust that you will know what is best for your baby. You will.
It can be hard to let go of the preconceptions about the type of mom you were planning to be before your baby arrived and go with what feels right. So, keep an open mind, let go and listen.
We instinctively know what is suitable for our babies and us. It might be easier said than done but putting too much pressure on yourself to get everything’ right’ can negatively impact your baby. Your baby will feel your stress.
Related: if you are looking for ways to reduce your stress as a new mom, visit our article on mom overwhelm.
My most significant piece of advice on how to be a good mom is to trust your instincts and do you. If you try something and it doesn’t work, try something else.
Providing you come from a place of love, you are doing the right thing. And there is no ‘right way; it’s all trial and error and finding what works for you, your baby and your situation. In the end, the right way is your way.
As a new mom with twins, I had to stop projecting and take everything one day at a time. And what I realised is that nobody has a baby and has any idea what they are doing; it’s all new territory. You learn as you go.
I felt utterly terrified and overwhelmed most of the time, and I also felt like my heart would burst with joy, and I would never be enough. Of course, I still feel like that, but I also know that I will love these babies with all of me and all my heart forever. And that’s all that matters.
Watch below for some great tips for new moms on nursing, burping, bathing, swaddling, and settling.
Trusting yourself as a new mom can be very challenging. As you navigate a world of scheduled feeds, settling your baby and infinite nappy changes, you will experience vulnerability and anxiety.
Lack of sleep and total dependence on you by this little being coupled with the need to dedicate your whole self to being a new mom can take some getting used to.
Take Care of You
New moms deal with the many hormonal changes occurring within their bodies after their baby arrives. Being able to give your all to caring for your new baby means you need to nurture and nourish yourself physically and emotionally.
Although it will be tempting to do many other things, try to rest when your baby rests. Eat lots of healthy, nutritional food, stay hydrated and sleep when you can.
It can be challenging to plan for something you have not experienced before. And nothing prepares you for your first child.
It’s incredible how such a tiny little thing can completely change your world! So, despite having everything you need inside of yourself, sometimes you need additional help. That’s why we created a list of positive affirmations for moms.
Fear, anxiety and overwhelm are all normal emotions for new moms. Counteracting fear with trust in yourself while riding the emotional roller coaster has many positive benefits for you and your baby.
I think the best types of moms are human enough to allow themselves to fail, they might even expect it, and they can laugh at themselves. Our baby brain moments prove that making mistakes can be a source of laughter and connection with others.
Allowing yourself and other parents to make their own mistakes and choices without judgement makes for a better journey for everyone. We are all faced with different challenges, and it’s not a competition; it takes a village.
Self-love
When I was a new mom, I found it especially important to take a step back and prioritise my health and wellbeing. It’s tough to make time for yourself and take care of a newborn baby, and it’s easy to lose yourself and neglect your wellbeing.
And that’s understandable too. You want to be the best mommy you can be. But being a great mom means taking good care of yourself, so you have the energy, emotional strength and wellbeing to take care of your baby.
Try to listen to yourself post-birth so you can recognise what it will take for you to feel better and to be able to manage more effectively. Whether it’s going for a walk every day, calling someone when things get too much, or napping when your baby naps. It’s important to know what you need.
If you already have children, it’s even more critical that you make time for yourself. Be gentle and lower your expectations. The life you have created is perfect, and the world is unfolding as it should.
If you are looking for ways to reconnect to your loving self our article on self-love for moms will inspire your mind, body and soul so you feel beautiful and energised again. Implement our actionable ideas to increase your self-love, self-worth and regain your confidence.
Be kind to yourself. There are always challenges in motherhood but know you are already a wonder woman; you have created this amazing new life! How awesome are you?
Reality Check
Whether you have a natural birth, breastfeed or bottle-feed, use a pacifier, or co-sleep is irrelevant compared with a home filled with love and security. There are many right ways to get to the same end goal regarding parenting.
It can seem like others are enjoying a perfect ride through motherhood in our digital world, but there is no such thing. There will be bumps and hurdles along the way (sometimes it feels like it’s every step of the way).
Things don’t always go as planned, but the magic and joy of motherhood is unrivalled and can provide opportunities for you to laugh and feel young again.
As a new mom with two babies and then two toddlers, I remember being on an emotional roller-coaster in those early days. I felt enormous highs and enormous lows.
My emotional extremes ranged from awe at the magnitude of love I felt for my children to sitting on the floor and sobbing my heart out from complete exhaustion. If you find yourself in this position, read some of our inspiring mom quotes. I love the words of encouragement!
Enjoy
Spending a lot of time at home in that first year with your new baby opens the door to a fantastic opportunity to indulge in some light entertainment. Although you can binge-watch Netflix while breastfeeding, there’s a lot of laundry that goes with being a new mom.
So pop your pods in and browse through our recommendations of podcasts for new moms. You can listen to them while in the car, walking or cleaning.
And podcasts can be a welcome change if most of your daily interactions involve toddlers and/or babies. They also offer excellent hints, tips, tricks and advice on how to be a good new mom.
As you journey through pregnancy and beyond, it can seem like everyone has advice for the new mom, but ultimately, it’s the love we give our babies that will shine through as they become their own little people.
As these babies grow, their actions, their voices and their hearts will grow too. If we nurture with love, we will provide them with the very best start in life. Disregard the guilt and external judgment and focus on happiness, both yours and your babies.
Motherhood provides a beautiful opportunity for unconditional love, giggles, singing, cake, silliness, tickles, kisses and cuddles. Strap yourself in; you are in for a wild ride.
Remember to laugh and love yourself as you journey through the wonder and joy of being a new mom to your beautiful baby. With all our new mom advice and survival tips, I am sure you will thrive!
